


Another Time, Another Place

by Stratagem



Series: Levihan Family Fluff [12]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Family Fluff, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 03:11:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8516239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stratagem/pseuds/Stratagem
Summary: Levi is a criminal justice professor while Hanji is a biology professor. They're married with a couple kids, and they live in D.C.  Levihan Family fics in an AU modern setting.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Attack on Titan.
> 
> I'm reposting this after having deleted it earlier this year when I took a break from the website. Now it's back, and I'm back. <3 
> 
> A/N: This is a modern AU of my Levihan Family Fluff AU. AU inception. It's really just an excuse to have Levi carry around a Hello Kitty backpack. Remy is 8, Ava is 3, Hanji has overplanned for Thanksgiving, and Levi is trying to not lose someone in the chaos.

"Did we get everything? Oh my god, did I leave my laptop cord—nope, there it is. Wait. Yeah, no, it's okay, this is it! Did we leave anything else?"

"We left Ava."

"Remy, that is _not_ helping. Levi?"

"I have her. Get out of the trunk, Four-eyes."

Hanji was halfway in the trunk of the car, searching around the edges as if she was going to discover a glasses case or twenty bucks or everyone's spare underwear supply. Nearby, Levi was standing with all their luggage and the kids, holding Ava while Remy swung around a parking lot light pole. It was close to one in the morning, and it was colder than freezing outside. Remy was ecstatic about being up this late, but Ava had lost her normal sunny disposition and was currently grumpy at the world like only an exhausted three-year-old could be.

Her expression matched her father's exactly as they both frowned at Hanji.

"I don't think we packed toothpaste," Hanji said as she extricated herself from the trunk and put her hands on her hips. "Did anyone get the mittens?"

"I did. We're leaving now. Lock the car."

"But—"

"We're going to be late," he said, handing Ava over to Hanji so he could grab their carry-ons. There had been concerted effort to pack everything into small luggage so they wouldn't have to pay extra baggage fees. Sighing, he picked up Ava's Hello Kitty backpack from the top of the car and tossed it over his shoulder before grabbing Remy's Transformers backpack and throwing it to him.

"Oi, Remy."

The eight-year-old spun and caught it, pulling it over his shoulders.

Hanji's own backpack was hanging from her shoulder, the laptop cord still spilling out of the top, along with the handle of her small pocketbook. It was going to be a miracle if they made it to Seattle with everything and everyone. She reached for one of the luggage bags, but Levi was already walking away, both of the carry-ons wheeling behind him. The cartoon on Ava's bright pink and white backpack winked at Hanji as she walked behind Levi.

"I can see my breath," Remy said as they all headed off to the bus stop in a line, Levi in front, then Remy, and Hanji bringing up the rear with Ava. "What time are we going to get there?"

"About eight in the morning," Hanji said. Her dad or her older sister was going to pick them up at the airport and bring them to her parents' house, and Hanji was honestly hoping the driver would be her dad. Levi was better at tolerating her dad rather than her sister. That whole death glare thing the two of them exchanged with each other every time they were in the same room was exasperating.

Remy raised his eyebrows. "So we're going to sleep on the plane?"

"That's the plan," Hanji said with a smile.

Levi made a noise of disgust, probably because the sanitation on the plane wouldn't be up to his normal standards. Hanji hoped that he wouldn't demand cleaning supplies from the flight attendants and scrub the windows or something. Or, alternatively, spend the whole flight writing a long letter of complaint to the airline.

And also hopefully Ava would be in a better mood after the plane ride. She had been grouchy since Levi had pulled her out of bed and stuck her in the car, and judging by the alternating glares and pouts, she really needed to get a few more hours of sleep.

They all rode the bus to the airport with the rest of the Thanksgiving travelers, most of whom looked stressed and harried. Ava fidgeted the whole time and played with the long bunny ears on her knit toboggan, at least until Remy got her to draw on the bus window instead.

Hanji reached out and touched Levi's fingers, smiling a little as he caught her hand in return. Okay, so he wasn't too pissed off about this whole family adventure.

At least not yet.

He wasn't thrilled about visiting her family, which she honestly didn't blame him for. The Zoe clan had never really taken to Levi, mostly because they thought he was cold and distant. Which, you know, he could be, but Hanji knew there was a lot more to him than that. It was just that her family didn't understand, especially her older sister Josephine.

Josephine had pretty much decided that Levi was bad news the moment she met him, while on the other side, Levi had quickly come to the conclusion that Josephine was an empty-headed idiot who worked for a gossip website. It meant that they spent every reunion and family holiday snarking at each other.

Which was soooo much fun for everyone.

But they couldn't skip another family holiday, not when Hanji's mom kept calling and demanding to see her grandkids, occasionally tearing up so she could lay the guilt on thick. Since Ava had been born, Hanji and Levi had managed to beg out of the holidays, saying that traveling from D.C. to Seattle would be too hard on the baby. Unfortunately, Ava had turned into a toddler and they had lost the whole screaming-baby excuse.

At least they were making it up later by visiting Levi's makeshift family back in D.C. And then there was the Thanksgiving dinner that Erwin had invited them, too. And the staff and student post-Thanksgiving party back at campus she had signed them up for. Okay, so maybe she had overscheduled them this week, but there was only one Thanksgiving per year! They needed to enjoy it.

As the bus stopped at the right entrance, they gathered their stuff and headed into the airport. They had checked in online already, so they headed straight to the security line. It was controlled mayhem, what with people having to pull off jackets and hoodies and shoes, yanking laptops out of bags, tossing bags and gear onto the conveyor belts. At least they got to use the family line, even though that still took a long time to get through.

Levi was efficient as always, setting each thing down on the belt neatly, while Hanji flung her things down haphazardly, almost setting Ava on the belt with everything else. A quiet 'tch' from Levi kept her from sending their daughter through the X-ray machine.

"Take shoes off," Ava said, lifting her feet as she saw Levi and Remy unlacing their boots. Remy technically didn't have to take his shoes off, but he was just copycatting his dad.

"You don't have to take your shoes off," Hanji said as she set Ava down so she could slide off her own shoes. "That's awesome, right?"

"No." The three-year-old sat down and started tugging on her boots anyways. "Don't want them."

"Ava, not now, please," Hanji said, trying not to get frustrated. She knew Ava was tired, but she also wasn't going to let her have an all-out tantrum right in the middle of the TSA line.

Luckily, Levi had seen the potential trouble brewing, and he picked up Ava, pushing her boots back on her feet. "Don't tell your mom no." Ava poked her bottom lip out in an embarrassed pout, at least until he handed her one of his boots. "Help me put this on the conveyor belt."

She set the boot down and then reached for his other one, momentarily distracted from her own shoes. Levi handed it to her then carried her through the metal detector that the family line used. Hanji yanked off her hoodie and then followed after them, pushing Remy in front of her.

None of them beeped, which was a blessing because she totally expected Remy to have packed a pocketknife or something. Hanji was still putting on her boots when she was suddenly tugged to her feet.

"Come on, Four-eyes, we're late," Levi said, grabbing her hoodie from the conveyor belt and tossing it to her. She snatched it up and tied it around her waist before grabbing her backpack, looping it over her shoulders. Everything else was gone though…

"Hey, Levi, did you—"

"Hanji! Move it!"

Okay, so she had to laugh. Levi looked mildly ridiculous. He had that tiny pink Hello Kitty backpack on one shoulder, his laptop bag under that, and the neon green Transformers bag on the other shoulder. Ava was clinging to his back like a monkey, her arms wrapped around his neck, and he was pulling the two rolling carry-ons behind him. Plus, Remy was running along beside him, carrying his hoodie and Levi's jacket, looking like he was going to trip at any moment. Still, Levi managed to look completely composed as he took off down the hall, heading toward their gate.

Hanji followed, and they ran through the airport, weaving around their fellow travelers until they made it to their gate. There wasn't anyone left in their staging area, so they rushed to the ticket counter, Levi holding out all four tickets. The zealously chipper attendant at the stand scanned the print-outs and waved them all through.

While Hanji got the kids into their seats, Levi stored their bags in the overhead compartments. Hanji and Ava were on one side of the aisle while Levi and Remy were on the other. Before he sat down, Levi grabbed a stuffed rabbit out of Ava's bag and handed it to her, his hand brushing over her head before he squeezed Hanji's shoulder.

"Get some sleep," he said, giving her a stern look before dropping down in the seat beside Remy. The eight-year-old immediately curled up in the seat and leaned against him, like Levi was just a comfortable, convenient living pillow. Sighing, Levi looped an arm around him and pulled him closer, letting his head rest against the back of the chair.

Hanji smiled to herself as the plane started heading for the runway and Ava drooped into her lap. She stroked the toddler's back, wondering if the rest of the trip was going to be as adventurous as the first few hours.


	2. Thankful for Annoying Family Members

"That girl has a Santa hat on," Remy said, scowling as he pointed into the crowd. He was perched on a huge windowsill while Hanji called home to let someone know they had finally made it to the Seattle airport. Levi looked up and joined Remy in glaring at the prematurely festive college student who made a face back at them and scurried away.

There was a rule in their house. You didn't start celebrating a holiday until the one before it was over. No Halloween planning before the Fourth of July, no Christmas music before Thanksgiving, etc. Levi had all the decorations that Hanji insisted on having around the house packed away in labeled boxes, and one set of boxes had to be put back in the attic before anyone could get the next set down.

"Can I go steal it?"

Levi snorted. "No."

Ava patted Levi's hand. "Daddy, phone is buzzy." The three-year-old was standing beside him, her fingers gripping the leg of his dark blue jeans.

"Yeah, I know," he said, not even bothering to pull the cellphone out of his pocket.

It had been going off nearly non-stop since their plane had landed, and every single text message so far was from Isabel. He hadn't bothered to answer any of them except the first one, where he just let her know they had made it to Seattle. Most of the texts so far involved her griping in all-caps about them skipping out on Thanksgiving. Then there was the one asking whether or not he and Hanji were regretting their life choices yet. And a text that was just a series of stupid angry face emojis, as if she hadn't already known for a couple months that they were spending Thanksgiving in Seattle.

Finally he stopped checking his phone entirely.

"Well, Dad's on his way," Hanji said as she turned back toward them, slipping her own cell into her pocket.

"Good." That was a lot better than her hellhound of a sister picking them up. Levi wasn't in the mood for Josephine's unsubtle jabs at his height and past.

"He'll be here in about thirty minutes, so we have time to eat first." Hanji clapped her hands and grinned at them. "I saw a bakery back there. Who wants donuts?"

Ava bounced up and down, letting go of Levi so she could clap her hands. "Me, me, me!"

"I want three with hot chocolate!" Remy declared as he scrambled down from the windowsill.

Hanji's eyes gleamed at the prospect of all that sugar. Levi knew that look well. She rubbed her hands together. "Brilliant, my little minions, let's do it."

Great, sugar-infused kids and wife. Levi allowed himself to be pulled along by Hanji as she looped her arm around his and headed for the bakery. Ava and Remy walked in front of them, both of them easy to keep track of with those bright backpacks on.

When they reached the bakery, there was already a long line of starving unwashed planeriders waiting to drown themselves in overpriced caffeine and pastry items. But there was tea on the menu so he guessed it would be worth the wait.

While they moved at a snail's pace through the queue, Ava took Levi's hands and stepped up onto his feet, her backpack brushing his knees. Each time he moved toward, she came with him, riding on the tops of his boots, her hands holding tight to his fingers.

"Hey, are you ignoring Isabel or something?" Hanji asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Oh, just because, I don't know, this—"

He looked over to find her reading her phone's screen then suddenly the screen was in his face, showing a text with Farlan's face attached to it.

_**FAR-SCAPE:** _ _hey Isabel wants me to tell you to tell Levi that if he doesn't answer her she's going to get the kids a st bernard puppy for Christmas. A big, drooly one with chronic incontinence issues. Hope you budgeted for new carpets this year_

Cursing, Levi freed one hand from Ava's and dug his cell out of his pocket to call Isabel. One ring later, and she was laughing in his ear.

"Do it and regret it forever," he growled.

"I knew that would get your attention," she said, "What else was I supposed to do, you stopped texting me back!"

"That's because you sent me a hundred whiny texts in a row. Maybe if you'd stop complaining, I'd text you."

"Is that Aunt Izzy?" Remy asked, popping up beside Levi and holding up a hand for the phone, "Can I talk to her?"

"Is that Remy?" Isabel must have heard him. "Ooo, how's my favorite little dude? I want to talk to him, give him the phone."

"I thought you wanted to talk to me, so no," Levi said, rolling his eyes and avoiding Remy as he jumped for the phone. "Remy, stop."

Isabel chuckled. "Mostly I just want to complain to you."

"That's nothing new."

"No, but seriously, it's not going to be the same without you guys," Isabel said. He could practically hear her pouting. He was surprised she wasn't demanding to FaceTime just so he could see the pout. "Me and Farlan are going to be so lonely."

"You do remember we just postponed Thanksgiving, don't you," Levi said. Ava tugged at his hand, leading him one step forward before she started playing with his wedding ring. "Or did you forget again."

"I know, I know, but it's a family holiday, Levi! And you kidnapped the majority of my family! Including yourself, which is really impressive, bro."

Remy held his hand up again. "Can I talk to Aunt Izzy now?"

Levi shook his head at Remy. "Right, it _is_ a family holiday, and this time we have to spend it with Hanji's family."

"And her evil harpy of a sister."

Levi huffed, not really wanting to think about Josephine right now. He was going to have to spend today and tomorrow in close proximity to her, which would be more than enough time wasted on her. "Don't you have to go give a dog a rectal exam or something? Or shouldn't you at least be studying? You can't move in with us and be a bum if you flunk out of vet school."

"Don't give me that, it's fall break! Not that you would know, you don't even care that I'm going to be here all by myself with just Farlan and you're breaking all our traditions and—"

Levi held the phone away from his ear, tempted to hang up on her. Hanji was grinning at her own phone, and he just knew that she was texting Farlan. Those two were awful when they got together.

"Daaaaad, I want to talk to her," Remy said, his eyes on the phone.

"Fine," Levi said to Remy before he brought the phone back up to his ear, "Stop complaining, Isabel." He handed the phone over to Remy, who immediately began talking about the plane ride even though he had slept through most of it.

"How's Isabel?" Hanji asked innocently, as if she hadn't been texting Farlan.

Levi shrugged. "Impossible, like usual."

"You did remind her we'll be there the day after Thanksgiving, right?"

He shrugged. "It's not like she was listening. She was too busy being a brat."

"She said she heard that and that you're the worst," Remy said, shooting Levi a smile.

Levi reached over and plucked the cell phone from him. "What did I say about complaining, Isabel?"

"I wasn't—"

He hung up and stuck his phone in his pocket before looping an arm around Hanji's waist, watching as her eyes bounced around the bakery menu and fixated on a certain panel. "You don't need a double espresso shot in your coffee."

"I do too," she said, leaning against him, "You're just not prepared to handle the awesomeness that is me on a double espresso shot binge."

"I'm always prepared. I just don't want to." A half-smile snuck onto his face. Maybe she needed to be totally wired today. While his family could be demanding, hers was overwhelming. "Just don't breathe on me after you drink it."

"Okay, then I won't kiss you either."

"Hey…"


	3. Thankful for Thanksgiving Being Over

The only safe place in the Zoe house was Hanji's old bedroom, which the entire Ackerman family had taken over, somehow cramming themselves into the small, overly decorated space. Hanji's family hadn't changed it since she moved out after high school, so it looked like it still belonged to a high school senior. A super dorky one.

One whole wall had been painted with the periodic table but on the blocks of the table, teenage Hanji had tacked up screenshots from movies and articles from science papers and marching band announcements. The ceiling was a mismatch of glow-in-the-dark stars, plus a big black and blue swirl in the corner that she lovingly called a black hole.

Levi was using the excuse of grading papers to avoid being forced to watch the afternoon football game with Hanji's dad and siblings and the various cousin and whatnot that had invaded the house. It wasn't that he hated football. No, it was that Hanji's family liked to yell and scream at the TV and sometimes throw food, and he wasn't going to sit there and get rained on by flecks of food and spittle.

There had enough of that during Thanksgiving lunch.

He was in the middle of an incredibly well-researched but boring paper by the Arlelt boy when the door suddenly flew open. There was a small blue blur that dashed in, shut the door and then scurried under the bed. He leaned over the side in time to see Ava's socks disappear under the bedskirt.

"Hey…"

A moment later, the door opened again, revealing Chloe, one of Hanji's brothers' kid. Technically that meant she was his niece, but he didn't like the girl very much. Mostly because she was in a bossy stage.

She did look a little surprised to see him, though.

"Don't you know how to knock?" he asked, glancing at her from behind the laptop screen.

"I'm looking for Ava, we were playing and she left." She put her hands on her hips. "I thought she came in here."

"Try somewhere else."

Chloe didn't look entirely convinced, but she retreated anyways. Once the door was closed, Ava commando crawled out from under the bed and then climbed up to sit beside him. He didn't bother to ask her what had happened. One, the explanation would be in three-year-old gibberish, and two, he wasn't going to make her go back out there anyways. She was wearing a blue dress that he didn't recognize, one that had a lot of frills, and he knew for a fact that she had been wearing a purple long-sleeve and blue jeans earlier. Half of her brown hair was in one pigtail while the rest of it hung loose, looking messy. Reaching over, he plucked the holder out of her hair, letting it all down.

Sighing, she flopped across his lap as if she was exhausted by this whole family get-together.

Levi patted her head. "Me too."

He started reading over the paper again, working around the toddler in his lap. She fell asleep pretty quickly, and he was able to move her to his side.

When the door opened again, he was prepared for it to be Hanji, wondering where Ava was. Instead it was Josephine with Chloe standing slightly behind her. Hanji's older sister was already wearing a sneer.

Levi shot a similar look back at her. "Does no one here knock anymore?"

"Chloe can't find Ava, and she said that you told her she wasn't in here," Josephine said, crossing her arms over her chest, "But I see that Ava is right there."

"She was supposed to play with me!"

"Keep it down," Levi hissed, not wanting them to wake up Ava. "I told her to look somewhere else. I didn't say she wasn't in here."

"You know that they don't get to see each other often," Josephine said, lifting her chin imperiously, "Chloe just wants to spend some time with her cousin while she can." It was a well-known fact that Josephine blamed Levi entirely for Hanji living on the east coast instead of the west, like the majority of her family. Like Levi could demand Hanji to do anything. If she wanted to move here, he'd go too. He'd hate it, but he would still go.

"She's taking a nap."

"Can't she nap later?" Chloe asked, peeking around Josephine, "I want to play."

Levi frowned. "I'm not waking her up."

"I can wake her up."

"You will _not_."

Finally a little blond-haired girl, Desiree, appeared and tugged on Chloe's hand, flashing Levi and Josephine a smile. She was another cousin, and Levi couldn't really remember who she belonged to, but he actually liked that one. She was a decent brat. "Chloe, I finished making the living room, let's go play."

"But we don't have a baby," Chloe said, sending another frown Levi's way. He put his hand on Ava's back. There was no way he was going to let them wake her up and drag her somewhere if she didn't want to go.

"It's okay, Pepper can be the baby."

"Pepper is a dog!"

"It'll be fuuuun."

Chloe was finally led away by a persistent Desiree, leaving Josephine alone to exchange glares with Levi.

"The door closes the same way it opened," Levi said, looking back to his laptop. He didn't want to start a war with Hanji's sister, but he couldn't help loathing her. Nosy busybody who slammed her own opinions over peoples' heads until they agreed…

"You know, you're only here for a couple days. You could be more social." She tapped her fingernails on the doorframe. "Less of a reclusive little troll."

"Only if you could be less of an intrusive hag," Levi said, not looking up from his laptop. If she wasn't going to attempt to play nice, why should he?

Josephine stared at him and then marched away, letting the door close too hard behind her. Levi grimaced, but it was too late. Beside him, Ava rolled over and rubbed her fists against her face.

"Go back to sleep," he said, tossing a blanket over her.

There was a quiet, sleepy giggle, and then she was out from under the blanket. "Loey wanted to play house."

"And you didn't?" he asked, typing a comment onto the paper with one hand.

"Want to be kitty. Not baby." Her face scrunched up. "'m not a baby. M'big."

"Yeah. Right. You're enormous." She was small for a three-year-old, and most people still thought she was around two.

Ava shook her head. "No, Daddy, big. Ava real big now."

"Enormous means big."

"Oh." She rubbed at one eye with her fist again and then scrambled up to her feet. She walked over the super-soft mattress, one hand on Levi's shoulder for balance, and found her stuffed bunny and bear at the top of bed, sitting on the pillows. She plopped down behind Levi, her back against his, and started playing with her toys, changing her voice as she spoke for the toys.

"Bobo, you like swee tatos?" "No, I like mash." "Mash stupid! You dumb, Bun." "No dumb." "Yes dumb!" "Rawr!"

Levi glanced over his shoulder to see her bopping the bear and rabbit together, replaying an incident from the kids' table. Yeah. They all needed to get out of here. Soon.

000000000000000000000

_Two days later._

The staff and student post-Thanksgiving party that the student union was throwing was in full swing, and a decent portion of the campus body had shown up. There were undergrads and grad students plus the doctoral group, and some of the professors and other staff members were there as well.

A leftover Turkey contest was the main event. Anyone who wanted to enter was supposed to bring something made out of leftover turkey, and there were a bunch of categories, from unique to disgusting to delicious to artistic.

Most of the freshman from the Recon Building dorm had staked their claim on some tables near the door, and they were comparing some of their entries before putting them on the competition table.

"Connie, what…what is that?" Eren asked as Connie plunked his creation down on the table.

"Hanji said we could get extra credit in her class if we made a cell out of turkey parts," he said, "And I'm definitely flunking her class so I did. You guys like it, right?"

"No," Mikasa said, which made Connie's smile deflate.

"That's not the right answer."

"Are those real turkey feathers?" Armin asked, pointing at a bit of fluff.

"Yeah, it's the mitochondria," Connie said and smirked, "Sasha's dad shot the turkey."

"I'm sure Hanji will like it," Eren said, trying to force a smile.

"Good!" Connie glanced around. "Has anyone seen her?"

"I did earlier," Armin said, "And Professor Ackerman. They had their kids with them, but I haven't seen any of them since."

"Huh," Connie said, "Well, no one better eat this until I find her."

Armin bit his lower lip. "Uh…we're supposed to eat it?"

"Of course! The feathers come off, it's fine."

"Yeah, okay…"

Over in the corner, where some of the student union couches had been shoved together, Mike sat on the edge of a chair, eating cake and following the dean's orders to make sure no one bothered the extremely exhausted family sleeping on one of the couches.

Levi was sitting on one end of the couch, feet on an ottoman and his head propped up by his hand, while Hanji's head was resting in his lap. He had one arm around her, and their fingers were threaded together. Ava was laying on top of Hanji, and Remy was at the other end of the couch, squished between Hanji and the cushions.

Mike already had a picture on his phone. Just in case he needed blackmail in the future.


	4. Only a Hippopotamus Will Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remy is still 8, Ava is still 3, Hanji likes to torture Levi with eccentric Christmas carols, and Levi is willing to sacrifice the car radio for some peace and quiet. The song is "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" by John Rox.

Levi knew it would be expensive to replace the audio system in the Jeep. It would eat into his next pay check considerably, and it wasn't like there was anything wrong with his current system, besides the fact that it was turned up way too loud right now. However, he was willing to bet that his sanity would be willing to accept that unnecessary hit to the bank account if it meant shutting Hanji and the kids up.

A couple jabs with his pocket knife would do the trick. If only he wasn't driving so he could get to it.

"No crocodiles, or rhinoceroses, I only like hippopotamuses! And hippopotamuses like me too!" Hanji was singing along to the radio, or more like shrieking with a bit of a tune. Just a little bit of a melody, enough that Levi couldn't accuse her of simply shouting the words.

No, that award went to the terrors in the back seat. Remy and Ava were yelling along with their mother, and it only sometimes sounded like singing.

"I want a hippopotamus for Christmaaaas!"

Grimacing, Levi reached over to turn the music down, only to get his hand slapped by Hanji. He glowered at her before training his eyes on the road again. "My eardrums are bleeding."

"What? I can't hear you," she said over the music, that bright, your-opinion-currently-doesn't-matter-much grin on her face. "But you know what?" She took a deep breath and plunged into the current verse of the song. "I can see me now on Christmas morniiiing—"

He tightened his hands on the wheel. "I'm returning you for a refund."

Hanji just sang louder.

It was the first day of the college's Christmas vacation, and Hanji was dead-set on going to get a Christmas tree. She had wanted to get one over the Thanksgiving break, but they had been way too busy to even attempt it. Remy still had school, but Hanji could not be dissuaded and she and Levi had ended up taking him out of school so they could drive out to a Christmas tree farm and get a tree before, as Hanji put it, 'all the good ones were gone.'

They were still two hours away from the farm Hanji had picked. He could survive this.

"When I open up my eyes to see my hippo hero standing there!"

He would _endure_.

When the song finally finished, Levi darted a hand out and turned down the radio, whacking Hanji's hand away as she tried to hit him again. She retaliated, and he deflected easily.

She batted at his hand, trying to get at the volume control. "Levi, it's Christmas."

"No, it's not. Christmas is more than half a month away," he said, "You start using the excuse that it's Christmas every year the day after Thanksgiving. It's not Christmas."

"There are twelve days of Christmas, we might as well make it an even twenty six."

"That doesn't…" He wasn't even going to argue about that. "No."

She grabbed his hand and started wresting it away from the radio. "You just don't want me to play glorious carols and infuse our precious children with sweet Christmas spirit because you, Ebenezer Scrooge McCleanpants, are a killjoy."

"Have a thumb war," Remy suggested, leaning forward between the seats, looking excited to at the prospect of battle. His hazel eyes gleamed behind his glasses. "I'll count down."

"I'm game," Hanji said, lifting her hand, thumb raised.

"I'm driving."

"Excuses."

"Is aminals at the farm?" Ava called from the back seat. Levi glanced at her through the mirror. She was looking out the window, her stuffed rabbit and one hand pressed against the cool glass.

"I don't think so," Hanji said, flicking Levi's hand once for good measure since he had never let go of the volume control. He turned it up to an acceptable, low level, placating her. "It's a tree farm."

"Why do they call it a farm, then?" Remy asked, flopping back into his seat now that there wasn't going to be an epic thumb war.

"You can have farms for all sorts of different things," Hanji said, and Levi sensed that she was about to launch into an explanation of all things farm related. "Most of the time, farms are for producing food, it's their traditional purpose, but sometimes they're…" She slipped further into explanation mode, and Levi tuned her out as he drove, preferring this to the singing. He was sure that she didn't notice, but he kept glancing in mirror, and within ten minutes, both of the kids were asleep.

Success.

After a while, Hanji reached over and rubbed his arm. "You're just mad because the song said we had a dirty chimney flue, aren't you?"

Levi scowled. Well. "It's a stupid song."

"I knew it."


	5. Babysitter Extraordinaire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hanji and Levi go out for a date night, and Isabel volunteers to babysit the precious offspring. Hopefully everyone survives the experience. Remy is 9, Ava is 4, Hanji and Levi aren't sure about this, and Isabel is SUPER EXCITED. And Farlan hopes he doesn't get dragged into this.

"Ava's bedtime is seven, and Remy's is eight thirty," Levi said. He and Isabel were in the kitchen going over a few last minute details while Hanji scrambled to get ready upstairs. She was running late, as usual, so Levi was giving Isabel the babysitting rundown, much to Isabel's irritation. "Ava's going to get up at least three times before she actually goes to sleep. Don't let her stay awake, we're in the middle of breaking that habit. Whenever you see her, just put her back to bed."

"I know, it's not the first time I've babysat," Isabel said, crossing her arms.

"It's the first time you're babysitting them overnight. It's different."

"Mhmm," Isabel said. She rocked back on her heels. "You're just being paranoid."

"Are you taking this seriously?" Levi asked, one eyebrow raised. "Because we don't have to go."

Isabel rolled her eyes. "I'm being super serious. You're just going over things I already know." She grinned. "You're nervous."

"No. I don't want to come back and find you sitting in the middle of the floor crying and pulling your hair out while the kids destroy the house."

"I wouldn't do that!" Isabel protested, putting her hands on her hips. Besides, they were her niece and nephew, not little super destructive children who were out to get her or something. Really, Levi was just being crazy overprotective of them, like usual. She was never going to forget the months he had spent babyproofing the house before Remy was born. The childproof locks had locks on them. "I can handle this, stop freaking out."

Levi scowled at her, probably taking offense at her choice of words. What? He was totally nervous, anyone could see it. Or well, anyone who actually knew him. To everyone else he would probably look as emotionless as always.

"He can't help it, Isabel," Hanji said as she came into the kitchen, trying to hook the clasp of her necklace. "He's wired that way."

Levi made a face and fixed the necklace for her the moment she reached him. "You make it sound like making sure the kids live through the night is a bad thing."

"Levi! I'm not that bad of a babysitter," Isabel said, "We're going to eat dinner and watch a movie, then they're going to get ready for bed, and then go to bed. That's it. No jumping on beds or pranks or sky diving."

"See, they'll be fine." Hanji grinned at Isabel. "You're going to be fine, and they'll be fine, and everything's going to go great." Her expression suddenly turned deadly serious. "But whatever you do, no matter how much they cry, no matter how much they beg, do not feed them after midnight."

Isabel blinked. "Huh?"

Levi reached up and tugged on Hanji's hair. "The kids are not gremlins, Four-eyes."

Isabel was still confused. "So no midnight snacks?"

"It was a joke," Hanji said, smirking at Levi before turning back to Isabel, "I was kidding. Haven't you seen Gremlins?"

"What?" Was she supposed to have? Was that a new requirement for babysitting the kiddos?

"Oh, well, your movie repertoire needs a little bit more cheesy horror in it," Hanji said.

Isabel nodded and gave Hanji a double thumbs-up. "I'll look it up later."

"We should go or we'll be late for our reservations," Hanji said, looking at Levi. He had his arms crossed, his eyes locked on Isabel as if he was evaluating whether or not he really wanted to leave the kids with her. She stuck her tongue out and blew a raspberry at him, because that was mature.

"I've got this, bro," she said, putting her hands on her hips, "Go enjoy your dinner or whatever. I'll make sure the house doesn't burn down and the kids stay in one piece and we don't have to call the police."

"That instills me with confidence," Levi grumbled. But he did move toward the front hall. "Remy, Ava! We're leaving."

There was a clatter on the stairs as Ava rushed down them, leaping off the next to last step into Levi's arms. She was dressed up in a tiger costume, complete with little striped ears on top and a floppy little tiger tail. "I'm a not Ava, I'm a tiger! Rawrrr!"

"I'm terrified," Levi said in a deadpan voice, "Look, chatterbox, you better behave for Isabel. Got it?"

"Rawrrr," Ava said again and then she fake-purred as she nodded, her arms around Levi's neck, "I'm a good tiger. Meow."

"Tigers belong in the jungle," Hanji said as she held out her arms to her youngest. The little brunette squealed and flung herself as her mother. It was a good thing that Hanji was standing right next to Levi so it was easy to catch her. "Maybe you and Isabel can go pretend you're in India or something."

"That could be arranged," Isabel said, grinning.

"Aunt Izzy is super good," Ava said, beaming at Isabel, "She can be a tiger, too."

Remy appeared in the doorway to the living room, holding a tablet. "Can we play video games before you go to the totally fake, nonexistent, imaginary jungle? I'm totally going to take you down at Mario Kart."

"You're on," Isabel said. This was going to be an easy night, Isabel thought to herself. Keep Ava occupied with the tiger game until she crashed from sheer exhaustion and play Mario Kart with Remy until bedtime. Plus eat pizza and get some spending money from her older brother. Oh, and not to mention bragging rights for not letting the kids destroy the house.

"Don't forget to study for your spelling test," Hanji said, reaching out to mess up her son's black hair. "And clean your glasses, they're filthy."

"How can you even see," Levi said. He plucked the glasses off of Remy and inspected the smudges that had probably been made by peanut butter or engineering experiments. Either one was likely.

Remy snatched his glasses back. "I will, I'll do it later, just leave them alone."

"You're going to be really late," Isabel said. She turned toward Hanji and held her arms out for Ava. The four-year-old was passed over to her, and automatically Ava began playfully growling.

"Call if you need us," Hanji said with a grin, "But I'm sure you'll be fine! Poison control's number is on the fridge, just in case."

Levi looked like he was less and less confident about this by the moment. "Why—"

"Hurry up and say goodbye." Taking her own instructions to heart, Hanji turned and kissed Ava before bending down and hugging Remy. "Behave, got it?"

"Yeah, okay," Remy said with a shrug before hugging Levi as well. "When are you getting back?"

"Early in the morning," Levi said. It was going to be a long party. "If you have any problems with Isabel, call me or your mother. Or Farlan."

"Hey, I'm in charge here," Isabel said, lifting her chin in defiance, "Nothing's going to go wrong."

As if he hadn't heard her, Levi gestured toward the cell phone on the table. "Remembers, the numbers are preprogrammed in there."

Ava started wriggling so Isabel set her on the ground. She raced over to Levi. "Give me a goodbye kiss."

"You're so demanding," Levi said, but he smirked just a little as he picked up his daughter and pecked her on the cheek. She responded by kissing him on the forehead.

With goodbyes finished, it didn't take long for Levi and Hanji to finally leave, which meant Isabel was now in charge. Or so she thought.

"All right, munchkins, so what do you want to do first?" she asked, looking down at the two Ackerman kids. Remy and Ava exchanged a glance, and then Ava leapt at Isabel, tugging on her hand.

"Play make-up with me! I need tiger whiskers!" the girl exclaimed, pulling Isabel toward the stairs.

"I think make-up is off limits," Isabel said, but she allowed herself to be led away. How bad could it be? It wasn't like make-up didn't come off, and a couple little whiskers on Ava's face wouldn't be a big deal.

"No, it's okay, it's for playing," Ava said.

Remy smirked the moment Isabel's back was turned and then disappeared into the living room. There was going to be a horror movie marathon tonight on one of his favorite channels, and while Isabel was busy with Ava, he was going to binge-watch A grade scary movies.

Ava and Isabel had just gotten a few whiskers painted onto Ava's face with Hanji rarely-used eye liner when Isabel's cell phone rang downstairs. Isabel glanced at Ava. "Hey, come on, I have to go answer that."

"I wanna stay here."

That call was probably from Levi, and if she didn't pick it up, he would assume they were all dead or kidnapped or something. "I—"

"Aunt Izzy, it's Dad!" Remy yelled, but he obviously hadn't answered it since the cell was still ringing.

"Answer it!" Isabel said, and then thought better of it. "No wait!" If Remy answered it, it would seem like Isabel wasn't paying attention to Levi's calls. This was way more complicated than it should be. "I'll be there in a minute." She pointed at Ava. "Don't touch anything."

She took Ava's little nod as an 'okay' and dashed out of the them, practically falling down the stairs. Leaping to the bottom, she snatched the phone from Remy's hands and answered it, only slightly out of breath. "Hey, big bro."

"What were you doing?" Levi asked, "What's broken?"

"Nothing, geez," Isabel said, leaning against the wall. She peeked into the living room to see Remy flipping through TV channels. "Ava and I were just playing." Well, they weeeere.

"Fine. But remember, the house has to be in one piece when we get back."

Hanji's voice broke in. "Levi, you little twerp, stop pestering your sister! Put that phone down right now."

The phone clicked off, so Isabel didn't hear the rest of the argument. Sighing, she headed back upstairs, where she was met with the sight of Ava drawing black stripes all over her arms. Her legs were already covered in a hasty set of lines, and it wouldn't be long until she was completely covered.

"Ava, no!" Isabel cried, rushing forward and grabbing the eye-liner. That earned her an automatic pout from Ava, who put her hands on her hips.

"Give it back," the littlest Ackerman demanded, extending a hand.

Isabel ignored her and instead tried to smudge one of the lines on Ava's arm. She looked at the eye-liner container. 'Water-proof! Long-lasting!' Great. Growling to herself, she started hunting for any make-up removing wipes. Hanji had to have some somewhere, right? "Ava, why did you do that?"

"'Cause I'm a tiger!" Ava said, and she jumped up and went roaring down the hallway.

Okay, so, this wasn't turning out exactly as Isabel had planned. She spent the next thirty minutes playing an unfortunate game of hide and seek with Ava, who had more hiding places around the house than Isabel thought possible. When she finally caught the kid, she fed her and Remy dinner, only burning the grilled cheese on one side. The fire alarm had gone off, but after a few minutes it stopped. Turning on the overhead fan had helped. However, the burning turned the sandwiches into bricks of burnt cheese and bread, so they ended up eating microwaved frozen pizza instead.

"Okay, bathtime," Isabel said, looking at Ava and her stripes. The four-year-old took off with a laugh, forcing Isabel to chase her again. After scolding her and giving her a bath (only getting a few of the stripes off), Isabel stuck her niece in bed.

"Read me a story, please," Ava said, picking up her favorite stuffed rhino and hugging it tight. "I wanna hear about the pigeon."

"The pigeon?" Isabel shook her head. "Which one's that?" She was so lucky that Remy was a good kid and could practically watch himself. It meant she could spend more time with Ava, who needed far more attention.

"The pigeon and the bus," Ava said, pointing toward the bookshelf. "Mommy always reads it."

"What does your dad read?" Isabel asked. She went over to the shelf and picked up the requested book.

Ava grinned. "The Rhyming Dust Bunnies. The dust bunnies get sucked up in a vacuum at the end, it's funny."

"Of course." A book about cleaning. What else would Levi read.

Ava wasn't pleased with just one story. Oh, no, they had to read half of the shelf before she nodded off, her head drooping onto the pillow. Finally. That only took about an hour. Fluid bedtimes were better for kids, anyway, right? Right.

After extricating herself from Ava's stuffed animal menagerie, Isabel went downstairs, knowing the Remy needed to start getting ready for bed. She was surprised to find him in the middle of the kitchen with all the lights on, digging flashlights and candles out of the miscellaneous items drawer.

"Um, worried about a power outage or something?" Isabel asked.

Remy yelped and jumped about a foot in the air and the heavy Maglite flashlight he had just picked up flew out of his hands. It crashed into the set of mugs hanging up by the coffee pot, shattering a couple of the mugs before landing on the coffee pot and shattering it. It would've been nice if it had happened in slow-mo so Isabel could do something about it, but the coffee pot was destroyed before she could do anything.

"You scared me!" Remy snapped, bending down to start picking up pieces of the ceramic mugs.

"Be careful," Isabel said, grabbing a plastic bag so she could help out. "Why are you so jumpy, anyways?" Remy usually wasn't very easy to scare. At least, not unless he was… "Have you been watching scary movies?!"

Remy's face turned red and he started messing with his glasses, which told Isabel everything she needed to know.

"Great, now Levi is going to kill me…"

"I'm not going to bed, by the way."

"Why not?"

"I'm just not."

"Argh!"

From upstairs, a little wail pierced the room. "Aunt Izzy, I heard something! I'm scared!"

"Awesome…"

When Levi and Hanji got home, they were met with a giant pillow and blanket fort in the middle of the living room. All the lights were on, and so were a few flashlights and the old emergency lantern. Levi stepped through the mess, his expression less than pleased. This was going to take some major cleaning up. He lifted the flap to the blanket fort to see Isabel, Remy, and Ava all curled up together in a puppy pile, arms and legs spread out as they slept.

He rolled his eyes and let the blanket back down. Little sisters were such a pain.


	6. Leaf by Leaf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remy is 12, Ava is 7, Hanji is amused by Levi's stubbornness, and Levi hates leaves.

"Beloved spawn! Come here!"

"You have to stop calling us that," Remy said. He frowned at his mom as he trudged into the living room, Nintendo 3DS in hand. "It's embarrassing."

"Okay then, valued progeny."

"Mom. No."

"What's going on?" Ava asked, walking in behind Remy.

Hanji was sitting in the massive window seat that looked out at the front yard, a bowl of popcorn and three cans of soda lined up on the wide windowsill in front of her. She tossed a wild grin over her shoulder and patted the seat cushion beside her. "Get up here. It's time to yet again witness proof that your father is a strange, fallible creature of habit."

"You look way too happy about that," Remy said, but he headed over and sat down at the other end of the window, leaving room for Ava between him and their mom. He pushed his glasses further up his nose and shut down his 3DS.

"I can't help it, I love his imperfections," Hanji said as she pulled Ava up onto the window seat. "I mean, really, he does this every year like the situation is going to change or something. It's fascinating."

Turned sideways in the seat, Ava leaned against Hanji and put her socked feet against Remy's leg. She tilted her head to the side as she looked out the window. "What's he doing?"

"Being crazy," Remy said.

"Epic yet futile battle," Hanji said at the same time.

Outside, Levi was viciously attacking the massive blanket of leaves with a rake, creating a huge pile beneath the oak tree. There were a decent number of hardwoods in their front yard, and the leaf accumulation must have hit critical mass, pushing Levi over the edge like it did every year. He could handle the yard being so cluttered for only a certain amount of time.

Then he broke and went on a wrathful raking spree, as if the trees lost their leaves just to spite him.

"But all the leaves haven't fallen yet," Ava said, pressing her hand to the window, her blue-grey eyes looking up at the hardwoods. "There'll be more tomorrow, won't there?"

"Exactly," Hanji said, shaking her head. It was an annual thing, this leave-raking extravaganza kick that Levi went on without fail. She fully expected to come home one day to find all the trees in the yard cut down and hauled off in preparation for the cleanest autumn ever, but so far Levi had bravely resisted. She grabbed a handful of popcorn out the bowl and passed it over to Remy as he reached for it. "Honestly, I'm surprised he doesn't just pick all the leaves off the tree while he's at it."

The three of them munched on popcorn and sipped soda while they watched Levi build the pile of leaves higher, making it almost as tall as himself. At one point, he looked over at the window, and they all smiled and waved.

Levi stared at them for a very long time.

"I think he's cursing about us," Remy said as Levi whipped the rake around and went after the last few leaves with a vengeance.

"Probably," Hanji said, hugging Ava to her. "Never forget, adorable spawn, that your father is an absolute clean freak."

"Okay, Mom."

"Stop calling us spawn!"


	7. Snow Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remy is 7, Ava is 2, Hanji thinks having fun in the snow is awesome, and Levi disagrees.

"Remy, stop smudging the window."

"But it's snowing really hard," the seven-year-old said, not bothering to remove his fingers from the kitchen window. His nose made another mark on the glass as he pressed his face against the cold pane. "Is Mom going to make it home?"

"What kind of question is that?" Levi said, frowning at him. He set three mugs down on the table, putting one in front of his chair and another in front of Remy's normal seat. The third was waiting for Hanji. She would be here soon enough. She had said that she was going to pick up Ava from preschool and grab a few essential groceries before coming home, and they'd had a shouting match about the groceries. Levi said they didn't need them while Hanji said they did, and since she was the one driving, she won. Still. She didn't need to stay on the road any longer than necessary. Stubborn, hard-headed…

Remy shrugged. "I dunno. I guess she'd walk if the car wouldn't go anymore. But she'd have to carry the groceries and Ava."

"That's what cellphones are for. And she would probably leave the groceries and just bring Ava, anyways." Levi sat down at the kitchen table and gestured toward Remy's mug. "Come drink this before it gets cold."

"We'd go get them, right? If she broke down?" Remy trudged over and slid into his chair, pulling his mug over to him. He poked at one of the marshmallows, drowning it in the hot chocolate.

Levi restrained the desire to make a seriously sarcastic comment about leaving his wife and daughter to freeze to death and instead nodded. "Yeah, but stop worrying. They'll be home soon."

A couple minutes later, they heard the front door opening and Hanji's voice. "We got the bread and milk! Where are the cheers of relief? We're going to survive!"

Remy jumped up and raced toward the foyer while Levi followed at a slower pace. Snow was drifting onto the hardwood floor as Hanji tried to hold onto the groceries and Ava. She smirked when she saw Levi and lifted her chin higher.

"The Supreme Empress and the Grand Duchess of this household demand praise and some minimal groveling from the Royal Consort and the Princeling."

"No," Levi said, reaching out and taking Ava from her. He did, however, give Hanji a quick kiss, which was as much praise/groveling as she was going to get.

"I guess that works, too," Hanji said, smiling. She handed a couple of the grocery bags to Remy. "It's crazy out there, people act like they've never seen snow. I almost rear-ended some guy in a pick-up."

"You should've come straight home."

Hanji gave a dangerous smile. "Don't start that again, Levi."

He simply tossed a frown at her, also unwilling to fight about it all over again. Snow was still coming in, so he turned and shut the door as Ava patted his face.

"Hi hi."

Levi glanced at her. "Hey, you." She grinned and leaned forward to press her face against his.

"What'd you get?" Remy demanded, digging through the bag Hanji had given him. "Oh, yeah, candy!"

"Not just candy," she said, "There's some stuff we can eat in case the power goes out, plus batteries and a couple games. And the bread and milk!"

"You went to Wal-Mart." Levi said it like it was a disease instead of place, which it was in his eyes.

"Yep," she said, completely unashamed, "It's on the way home."

Shifting Ava to one arm, he reached over and took a couple of the bags from her. Wal-Mart was a retail nightmare, and he hated going in there. He would rather sit through an entire marathon of Hoarders than go in there, but Hanji didn't share his hatred.

They all headed into the kitchen, setting the shopping bags down on the table. Hanji immediately swooped down and hugged Remy before grabbing her hot chocolate mug. "Mmm, thanks."

"You're welcome," Levi said. He was busy getting Ava out of her coat while she wriggled around and babbled at him, telling him all about her day in Ava-ese, as Hanji called it. While she knew a few words, she had just turned two a few months ago and didn't have an extensive vocabulary yet. He blamed everyone outside of their family who insisted on baby-talking at her. Like Erwin.

Erwin was the worst.

"What's this?" Remy yanked something plushie and purple out of a bag and held it up in front of him.

"It's a snowsuit for Ava," Hanji said, grinning, "So we can all go outside and play tomorrow, and your dad won't be able to argue about it because it's snow-worthy this year." She reached over and lifted up the hood. "It even has these cute little bunny ears!" She bopped Remy on the nose with one of the floppy ears. "Ahh, it's so cute."

Levi, however, wasn't as enthusiastic. "It'll be too cold tomorrow." He folded Ava's coat over his arm as she headed off, going toward her brother.

"It's snow, it's going to be cold," Hanji said, "And we're going to go outside and have fun. Not like last year."

"Last year was fine."

"You stayed inside the whole time."

"Like I said, it was fine." A one-year-old didn't need to be outside in the cold, and neither did a two-year-old. She was too small, she could catch a cold. Next year would be a good year for her to go outside. Remy hadn't gone out in the snow until he was three. It hadn't snowed in D.C. until he was three, but that was beside the point.

"Nope, this year both Remy and Ava get to go outside," she said, looking over at the two of them. Ava was standing beside Remy's chair, and he was showing her the snowsuit. Tiny hands ran over the plushie material, and she wrinkled her nose as Remy tickled her neck with the ears.

Levi sipped at his hot chocolate. He and Hanji could fight about it in the morning. She was easier to convince when she was in her early morning haze of sleepiness.

* * *

_The next morning._

Wrapping his arms tighter around the bundled-up toddler in his arms, Levi didn't budge from the front stoop. The front yard was covered in a half foot of snow, which had knocked out their power and canceled classes at the college and Remy's school for the day.

Ava squealed and wriggled about, pulling at his arms. "Down. Ava down."

"Release the marshmallow, Levi!" Hanji demanded. She and Remy were rolling a ball of snow around the yard, building up the base for a snowman. The rest of the materials for the snowman were scattered at the base of the biggest oak in the yard. Levi didn't miss the fact that Remy had brought out ketchup along, and he guessed that their snowmen weren't going to be normal.

Typical.

"Dad, we need you," Remy said, shoving the growing snowball, his boots digging into the snow.

"Down, down, down, down."

"Leviii!"

"Why is this family so noisy…" Levi walked down the steps and crunched through the snow. When he reached Hanji and Remy, he reluctantly set Ava down, watching her expression.

Blue-grey eyes widened as her feet sunk into the snow, and she stood still, arms out to her side.

Hanji laughed. "She looks like that poor kid from The Christmas Story. Can she put her arms down?"

"Yes," Levi growled. She was fully mobile, but she was wearing a couple layers under the snowsuit, which Hanji already knew.

"Come here, baby," she said, reaching her hands out to Ava. The two-year-old beamed and started to walk toward her, making an effort to get through the snow. She stumbled, landing in the snow sideways. For a moment, it looked like she might cry, but then she just squealed and started throwing handfuls of snow into the air.

"See, she likes it," Hanji said, smiling at Levi.

"Mmm." He'd be happier if they were all back inside instead of getting soaking wet and cold at the same time.

"Hey, Dad?"

Levi turned and immediately got hit in the chest with a snowball. Remy flashed a smug smile and dove behind the massive snowball he and Hanji had been rolling.

"Ooo, bad idea, Remy," Hanji said, but she looked like she had enjoyed Levi getting hit a little too much.

Levi reached down and scooped up a handful of snow, packing it rapidly into a ball as Hanji backed up.

"Levi—"

"You're the one who wanted to play in the snow."

"Just know that you started it!" she yelled, "You're the one bringing this family to battle!"

Levi smirked. "I'm okay with that." He hurled the snowball, catching her in the side.

She tilted her head. "Oh, it's _on_."


	8. Okay, But

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The college faculty members throw a welcome-to-the-world party for Hanji and Levi's new baby, and their older son is not very happy about it. Mainly because he doesn't think anyone else should hold his baby sister. They're all obviously not worthy. Remy is 5, Ava is a few weeks old, Hanji thinks Remy and Levi are super overprotective, and Levi sympathizes with Remy. Also, I might do a little POV hopping around in this one. I'm being lazy. Mwahaha.

So much pink.

Remy perched on the arm of the leather loveseat in the faculty lounge, staying next to his mom. There were pink streamers, pink flowers, pink napkins, pink balloons, pink everything. Why did everything have to be pink? Ava was a baby, she didn't care what color stuff was, and if she did, she would've wanted it to be purple. Or yellow. Those were the colors his parents had painted her room, so obviously she would've liked those best.

There were too many people in the room. A lot of them were people that worked at the college, like his mom and dad, but he didn't know all of them. But even if he had known everyone, there still would've been too many people. Ava was too tiny to be around this many big, clumsy grown-ups.

"Mom, let's go home," Remy said, reaching over to tug on Hanji's sleeve. She was showing Ava to Petra, one of the people who worked in Levi's department. Petra was making baby noises and cooing and stuff, and it was silly. She was probably confusing Ava since Ava didn't even speak English yet, and she definitely wouldn't understand all that babbling. "Mooom."

"Remy, come on," Hanji said, glancing over at him, smirking a little, "Stop hovering and go eat some cake. We haven't even been here that long." She turned back to Petra. "Do you want to hold her?"

"I'd love to, if you don't mind," Petra said, looking eager.

Remy sat up straighter and shot Petra a frown. "Did you wash your hands?"

"Remy—"

"Dad says everyone has to wash their hands before they hold Ava," Remy said, "Every time."

"I definitely washed my hands. See?" Petra said, holding them up like he would be able to see that they weren't all germy. But he knew that germs were invisible, so he couldn't really tell.

"Maybe you should wash them again."

"You're being rude, kiddo," Hanji said, and he could hear the quiet warning in her tone. He didn't think he was being rude, he was just making sure no one got Ava sick. Or hurt her. Or made her cry. She was his little sister, not anyone else's, so he was the only one who was looking out for her.

"Sorry…" he said, even though he didn't mean it.

"It's okay," Petra said, "I can wait to hold her."

"No, you can hold her now," Hanji said, and before Remy could say anything else, she slipped the tiny wrapped-up bundle that was Ava in Petra's arms.

Petra grinned down at the baby. "She is really adorable."

"Thank you, I'll take the majority of credit," Hanji said, smirking, "Levi does get an honorable mention, though."

Remy crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall, watching Petra as she leaned down to get a better look at Ava. Ugh, his mom was letting everyone hold her. Three people had held her already, Moblit and Eld and Petra, and he just knew that everyone else wanted to hold her, too.

"So, this is who all the fuss is about?"

Remy looked up to see Oluo standing there, looking down at Ava and Petra. Oh noo… He didn't want Oluo to hold Ava, he was too loud and weird, and Remy thought he was annoying. For some reason, his dad was okay with him, but Remy didn't understand why.

"Don't pretend you aren't dying to see her," Petra said, rolling her eyes.

"I just want to see how tiny she is."

"Well, she was a couple weeks early," Hanji said with a bright smile, "So impatient!"

"Ava's probably tired," Remy said, tugging on his mom's shirt sleeve, "I bet your sleepy, too. Aren't you tired?" She had been tired a lot lately, and Dad had been letting her sleep as much as possible. Having a baby was apparently really exhausting.

"Nope, I'm quite awake," she said, "And Ava will definitely let me know if she gets sleepy." She turned and rubbed his arm. "Go get cake! Have fun! You're becoming a mini-worrywart."

Remy made a face and pulled his arm away from her. He was not, he was just being careful.

Oluo was still standing nearby when Mike walked over and stood nearby. Now, Remy liked Mike a lot, but he was just so tall and so big, and Ava was so little. Hmm. Nope. That probably wasn't going to work out. He had held Ava before, but she wasn't a football, she didn't need to be passed around and stuff.

"Mom, I think Ava doesn't want anybody else to hold her…"

His mom turned toward him, her eyes wide and a little tense behind her glasses. "Remy, kiddo. Child. Go. Get. Cake."

Oh. She wasn't really happy with him… Glancing around the room, he spotted his dad at one of the tables, talking with Uncle Farlan and Aunt Izzy. Both of them could hold Ava because they were family, but Remy thought that Uncle Farlan was probably less likely to drop her.

Aunt Izzy waved at him and held up a plate that was on the table. Mmm. It looked like there was easy access to cake, and he could get away before his mom actually scolded him. "I'll be back," he told his mom.

"I bet you will," she said.

He gave Oluo and Mike one last suspicious look before going over to Aunt Izzy. When he reached the table, Uncle Farlan automatically picked him up and sat him in the free chair beside him before reaching over to take the cake from Aunt Izzy. He set it down in front of Remy, who grabbed the fork and started shoveling it into his mouth.

"Slow down," Levi said, reaching over and pulling the plate away, "You're going to choke."

"But…okay…" Remy waited for his dad to relinquish the plate before he started eating again, slower this time. He glanced over at his dad. "Does everyone have to hold Ava? There are too many people. Can we go home?"

Uncle Farlan snorted, and Aunt Izzy laughed, covering her mouth with a napkin. Remy squirmed, embarrassed, until Uncle Farlan shook his head.

"It's not you, Remy," he said, "Your dad was just basically saying the same thing."

"Oh my gosh, Farlan, do you remember that baby shower Petra threw when Remy was born?" Aunt Izzy said. Somehow she was ignoring the glare that Levi was sending her, but Aunt Izzy always had been good at ignoring his scowls. She gave Remy a huge smile and ruffled his hair. "I thought Levi was going to gut anyone who tried to hold you if they didn't bathe in sanitizer first. Even if they did, he was worried they'd scare you or something."

"I think the party favors were almost surgical masks," Farlan said, smirking.

"I think you should both be quiet and stop exaggerating," Levi said, but now that Remy was really looking at him, he could tell that his dad was tense. And his dad kept looking over at his mom and Ava.

"It's a secret, but we were really only invited so we could be on Levi patrol," Aunt Izzy said, nudging Remy, "So your dad doesn't grab your sister and hide in a corner with her."

"Isabel." His dad's voice was quiet but sharp.

"It's true! And you know it." She leaned back and popped a spoonful of cake into her mouth.

"So you don't want people holding Ava either?" Remy asked.

Levi didn't respond for a while, but he finally gave a small, quick nod. "But it doesn't matter. Your mom will let everyone hold her anyways."

"Why?"

"Because it's normal," Farlan said, "And being exposed to people outside of our family is actually a good thing."

Isabel slid a handful of pastel-colored mints from her plate to Remy's. "If it helps, your dad made sure that the party invitation said that everyone had to have their flu shots and whooping cough shots if they wanted to come."

"Oh…yeah, that does." He munched on his slice of cake and chewed through some of the mints Aunt Izzy had given him. The mints were mostly gone when his mom came over and promptly handed Ava off to his dad.

"I think she needs a break," Hanji said, running her hand along Levi's neck, "And I'm hungry."

"Then get something to eat," he said. Remy could see his shoulders relax a little as he pulled Ava close, resting her against his shoulder.

Yeah, okay, maybe his dad did understand how he felt a little bit.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A massive thunderstorm rolls through town, knocking the power out and waking up Hanji and Levi's son. Problem is, when he runs to his parents' room, they're not there. THE HORROR. Cue five-year-old meltdown. Remy is 5, Ava is a few months old, Hanji is a midnight-snack kind of person, and Levi thinks fuse boxes are stupid.

A sharp crack of thunder made Remy sit straight up in bed, grabbing his blanket. The first thing he noticed was that his room was too dark. There wasn't any light coming from the Ninja Turtles nightlight that was supposed to be glowing near the closet. And there wasn't any light shining under the door, which was wrong because his mom and dad always left a nightlight on for him out there too.

The entire room flashed white as lightning struck, and Remy only had a second to throw his blanket over his head before the thunder roared again. It was so loud, it was shaking the whole bed. It was like the storm was right outside the window and it wanted to get in and eat him and he didn't want to be eaten—

But he didn't want to get out from under the blanket either. "Dad?" he called, shivering. He peeked out from under the blanket. "Mom?"

No one came to the door. Maybe he hadn't been loud enough? That was probably it. It wasn't like they would ignore him. "Dad! Mooom!" he yelled, but he was drowned out another crash of thunder. They weren't going to hear him over the storm… "Dad!"

No luck. Reluctantly, he pushed back the blanket and got out of bed, grabbing one of his pillows just in case something jumped out of the dark at him. You never knew what was out there just waiting in the dark to get you. He held the pillow up, ready to smack whatever came for him, and crept to his door, nudging it open. The nightlight was dead, and he couldn't see very well in the darkness. Everything looked black and grey, and the end of the hallway seemed far away. He tried to turn on the light in his room so he could see, but it didn't come on. No power.

Lightning lit up the hallway, and he dashed for his parents' bedroom, nearly slamming into their door. He scrambled to get a good hold on the doorknob while thunder cracked and broke overhead. That was so close, the storm had to be right over their house.

Remy shoved the door open and raced over, springing up onto the chest at the foot of the bed and launching himself toward his dad's side. It'd be safe there, and he could sleep between his parents, and they could all be together. Even Ava's bassinet thing was there in the corner.

Except instead of landing on his dad, he landed on the mattress, his face hitting the edge of a pillow. For a moment, he froze. Oh. Dad must've gone to the bathroom or something. He rolled to the right, expecting to bump into his mom, but then he reached the edge of the bed.

Neither of them were there. He stood up on their bed and spun around, still holding tight to his own pillow. Where…where were they? The bathroom door was open, but no one was in there. Fear of the dark and the deafening storm was replaced by something deeper. Had something happened to his parents? They wouldn't leave him. Something must've happened. Tears burned in his eyes, but he brushed them away.

Sliding off the edge of the bed, he hurried over to the bassinet to check on Ava. "Ava? Are you okay? D-don't be scared," he said before he looked over the edge of the little bed.

She wasn't there either. She was gone and so was her blanket. He hugged his pillow to him, his heart pounding. Someone had taken his baby sister and his parents and he was alone and everyone was gone and where was his family? He had to find them, he had to, he was the only one left.

"Mom!" he shouted, running back into the hallway, "Dad!" Where were they? "Give them back!" Tearing toward the stairs, he wasn't sure what he was going to do or how he was going to find them, but he was going to try. Maybe aliens got them. Or monsters. Probably monsters, definitely, or ninjas. Yeah, ninjas would be the only people who could take his mom and dad.

Lightning flashed again, and he saw the silhouette of someone coming up the stairs. A ninja! Screaming, not even bothering with words anymore, he hurtled down the stairs, pillow raised over his head.

He was caught, but he smacked the man with the pillow and immediately started to twist and turn, squirming around. Teeth bared, he roared and tried to bite the man's arm while attempting to claw his face at the same time, finally dropping the pillow.

"Remy! Hey, hey, Trouble, it's me. Stop trying to chew my arm off."

Remy paused, his mouth full of the man's sleeve. His dad's sleeve.

"Bad night?" Levi asked, eyebrows lifting.

Remy spat out the sleeve and wrapped his arms around his dad's neck. "You weren't there! I thought the ninjas got you and Mom, and Ava's gone, and I knew someone had you, and I'm sorry I hit you. Where were you?"

"A fuse blew, and I was trying to fix it," his dad said, "I checked on you before I went downstairs." He half-smiled. "I didn't see any ninjas while I was down there, by the way. So you're safe."

Yeah, he already knew that. "I woke up," Remy said, "Where's Mom and Ava?"

"Downstairs, too," Levi started walking back down the stairs, carrying Remy. "Ava's asleep now, and I think Hanji's raiding the fridge. She might get you a snack too if you don't hit her in the face with a pillow."

"I said I was sorry…"

"It's okay."


	10. Merry and Bright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava is 5, Remy is 10, Hanji is amused by a gift, Levi is not.

"We're not keeping that thing."

Levi and Hanji were both sitting at the kitchen table, looking at the little red and white figure that perched on top of the basket of oranges in the center of the table. It had come in the mail that afternoon, but it seemed that nighttime was its element.

Under the bright kitchen light, its plastic smile, big blue eyes, and featureless red jumpsuit lent it a certain creepy quality. Hanji thought Levi was blowing it out of proportion. Levi thought Hanji was insane for wanting to keep the sinister Christmas nightmare in the house.

"Hey, it's my brother that sent it so we can't just trash it," Hanji said, shrugging, "It's sort of horrifically cute, if you squint."

"No. It looks like it's going to kill us in our sleep."

"It's just a toy, Levi."

Levi responded by taking a long, lingering sip of tea, his eyes narrowed at Hanji.

Okay, so he wasn't exactly the best at Christmas traditions. From what he had told Hanji, she had gathered that Christmas at his house hadn't exactly been a happy occasion, if his uncle even remembered it at all. So of course he wouldn't be on board with the Elf on the Shelf idea right off the bat. He would have to warm up to it.

Though Hanji didn't particularly want to get used to it herself. For one, she didn't like the shelf elf idea in general since she would rather her kids behave because it was the right thing to do, rather than holding out threats of a stalker elf over their heads. Also, the thing was scary as hell, and she was sure it'd give Ava nightmares, if not Remy too.

"Where should we put it first?"

"In the garbage can."

Hanji pretended that she didn't hear him. She got up and plucked the red elf off the fruit, glancing around the kitchen. "Most people take pictures of them screwing up stuff and then post them on Facebook."

The expression on Levi's face said that proposal was going no where. Hanji smirked and twisted the elf around in a circle in her hands. "You know, we can't throw it away. But we can't stop it if it decides to go on an adventure, either."

Levi raised an eyebrow. "I don't like you talking about it as if it's alive."

"I think you'll like this," she said, "Do we have any of those fireworks left that we confiscated from Remy?"

"Oh. Good idea, Four eyes."

Fifteen minutes later, the Ackerman family was gathered out on the front lawn watching Hanji set fire to the long fuse of a rather large illegal firework. Levi was holding Ava while Remy stood beside them, arms crossed.

"It's my firework, why can't I set it on fire?"

"Because you're not allowed to have one."

"Then how come Mom gets to set it off?"

"Because I have a doctorate!" Hanji declared, a maniacal smile on her face.

"You don't have a doctorate in fireworks science, it's in biology," Remy accused, but he closed his mouth when he caught Levi frowning at him.

The fuse finally caught, and Hanji raced back toward her family. "All right, after this blows, we have to go inside and pretend we have no idea what happened."

"Got it," Remy said with a nod.

"Where's the elf going?" Ava asked. She had her arms looped around Levi's neck, and she was watching the elf with fascinated grey-blue eyes.

"On a cosmic journey," Hanji said, "From which there is no return."

"Good," Levi said.

The firework suddenly took off, squealing into the sky. It curved up over the house and then exploded, sending bright blue glimmers everywhere.

"Did we even name that thing?" Remy asked.

"Sure," Hanji said, smiling, "It's name is Kaboom McFieryFace."


	11. Skaters Gonna Skate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ava is 7, Remy is 12.

Hundreds of white Christmas lights twinkled around the outdoor skate rink as Levi and Ava waited in line to rent their skates. While Remy and Hanji went to the cinema and saw some holiday horror movie, Levi and Ava were having a daddy-daughter night. So far, they had had dinner at a nearby café, dessert at a local candy shop, and now Levi had his over-caffeinated, highly sugared daughter out at the skate rink. Bursting with energy, she was running back and forth between him and the side of the makeshift skating rink.

"I can't wait," Ava said, spinning around in a circle beside Levi, giving a little squeal of excitement. She looked over at the ice rink, obviously allowing dreams of Olympic figure skating to dance through her mind.

"You're probably going to fall on your butt a few dozen times," Levi cautioned. He didn't want her to think that she was going to be a natural at figure skating, though he expected she would be decent at it. She took gymnastics, and she excelled at anything to do with balancing, but still, he didn't want her to get her hopes up, get discouraged and then want to go home only minutes after being at the rink.

"That'll be okay," Ava said. She walked around him in a circle and made an impatient little noise before grabbing one of his hands with both of hers. "You're going to help me, right?"

"No," Levi said, teasing her with his deadpan expression and tone. He looked down at her. "I'm going to leave you out there on the ice by yourself until to figure it out or freeze."

"Daaad," Ava said, rolling her eyes. She knew better than to believe that. In her mind, all she had to do was call for him and her dad would be there immediately to give her a hand.

"They have those for people like you," Levi said, gesturing toward the scooting walker-esque pieces of equipment that many of the kids were using to scoot around the ice.

Ava wrinkled her nose and put her hands on her hips. "I can do it without that."

"If you say so." Levi put his hand on her shoulder and then tousled her dark brown hair. "Where's your hat?"

"In my coat," she said, attempting to push his hand away.

"Put it on."

"Do I gotta?"

"If you don't want to get pneumonia and die, then yes."

"Ugh…" Ava made a face and pulled her hat out of her coat pocket. While her hat when she was a toddler had rabbit ears, this little black toboggan had two perky cat ears plus a pair of staring green eyes.

"Better," Levi said. He reached down to straighten the hat, dodging Ava's attempts to swat his hands away.

She made a face at him and ducked to the side, popping up on his other side. "Is it our turn?"

"Almost."

"Now?"

Levi simply looked down at her and then looked away when she grinned unashamedly. So much like her mother. Eventually they made it up to the front of the line and rented their ice skates.

"Don't run with those," Levi said, recognizing that Ava was about to race off, "They're sharp."

"All right," Ava said. She couldn't help but skip a little though as they made their way over to a bench and claimed a spot.

"I can't wait, this is going to be so much fun, thanks for taking me. This is great! I'm gonna be like Frozen!" She yanked her shoes off while Levi methodically unlaced his books and removed them. When Ava had laced up her skates, she stood up and wobbled toward the entrance into the rink. She stumbled when someone stepped in front of her, but a firm hand grabbed her by the elbow and kept her upright.

"You're not even on the ice yet, chatterbox," Levi said, but he was giving the teenager who had cut her off a death state. The teen shivered and scurried away.

"It's hard to walk," she said. She tottered forward, and Levi helped her onto the ice. She stayed right by the side as her dad stepped down behind her and then skated in front of her. He was agile on the ice, but then again, he was agile all the time. It definitely helped that he used to skate on a recreational hockey team back in college.

"I'm going for it!" Ava said and took a few quick steps, trying to glide on the ice.

"Wait—"

Her legs whooshed out from under her as her skates caught a gash in the ice, and she fell on her butt, sliding across the rink. She hunched her shoulders as a couple skated right by her, and then Levi was there, lifting her back onto her feet.

"Take your time."

Levi scooted her over to the side of the rink, and Ava clung to the railing, not wanting a repeat of what just happened.

"You're not going to get anywhere holding on to the side," Levi said.

Ava ignored him and pulled herself forward. The skates slipped and slid under her, and it seemed like she would go sprawling if she let go of the wall. "I like it here."

"No, you don't." Levi skated backwards slowly and held out his hands. "You're braver than that."

Ava lifted her chin. Yeah. Okay, yes, she was brave. She didn't have to hold on to the side for dear life. Hesitantly, she let go of the railing and let her skates slide forward. While she wobbled a little, she didn't fall down immediately.

"Take another step," Levi said.

"Working on it," Ava replied and tried to move forward. She started to tumble forward as her skate slid backwards, but Levi caught her. He held her up until she got her balance and then gently held onto her hands.

"Don't let me fall," she said.

"You have to fall to learn."

Ava grinned. "Then I just wanna fall a little bit."

Levi huffed, but he also slowly skated backward, pulling Ava along with him. Slowly, she got the hang of it, eventually skating along at his side when he turned forward. He felt a soft little mittened hand slip into his gloved one, and he glanced down at her. "You don't need to hold my hand." She could skate by herself now.

"Nope, I just wanna."

Ah. He squeezed her hand back tight. "Okay."


	12. Blanket Fort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Remy is 11, Ava is 5, Hanji likes blanket forts, and Levi is exasperated by Hanji's innate messiness.

Rain beat down on the windowpanes of the Ackerman household, creating rivulets of water that raced down the previously spotless glass. Both Acker-kids were sitting in the window seat in the living room, their noses pressed against the panes.

"Guys, get away from there," Hanji said as lightning cracked again, shaking the house. Her fearless offspring stayed right where they were. If it had been nighttime, they both would've been freaking out, but since it was the afternoon, they were simply too fascinated by the storm.

"Is somebody going to come fix it?" Remy asked.

"It's all sparky," Ava put in.

The two of them were staring down the street at the telephone pole that had cracked in two when a tree fell into it. The power lines were laying in the street and electricity was crackling around it ominously, which obviously meant the kids were dying to go outside and inspect it. Especially Ava, who had a streak of curiosity that Hanji knew was borderline deadly since it was inherited honestly straight from her.

"I already called the power company, so I'm sure someone's going to come by sooner or later." Hanji stepped up behind the kids and tugged on the back of their shirts. "Now get down before you get struck by lightning. You shouldn't sit by windows during storms like this."

"Do you get dead when you get struck by lightning?" Ava asked, "Or do you get superhero powers?"

"It's die, not get dead. And you only get powers if you live in a comic book," Remy told her, "And then you can be like Electro. Or Emperor Palpatine, he can use lightning too."

"I think we shouldn't test that," Hanji said. She picked up Ava since the little mop-top wasn't moving, and she pulled Remy off the window seat by his arm. "Come on, spawn, let's go do something besides tempt fate."

"But the power's out," Remy said. It was as if any amusing thing possible had to have power in order to be done. Which, she guessed, was true to her tech-loving son, unless he decided to play with his Legos or robotics.

Hanji looked around the living room. There were puzzles, books, board games, and other toys that didn't require the electricity to be working. Surely they could find something to do.

That's when she spotted the old quilt laying across the back of the couch, practically screaming a great idea at her.

"All right, I've got it." She walked over and pulled the quilt off the couch, shaking it out to display its possibilities. Which was totally lost on the kids. Both of them were watching her as if she had lost her mind. "Remy, go get some chairs from the dining room."

That clued Remy into what they were going to do, and he lit up even though he was nine and would've said he was too old for blanket forts if any of his friends were around. He nodded, eyes glinting behind his glasses, and darted off to the dining room to start grabbing the high-backed chairs.

"Ava, go upstairs and grab some blankets."

"Any blankets?" she asked, her head tilting a little to the side.

"Blankets, sheets, pillows, grab everything," Hanji said, "And if your dad gets mad about it, then he can just stew in his rage."

"He's not going to like that," Ava said, but she turned and raced over to the stairs anyways. While they all put up with Levi's clean freak sensibilities, Hanji didn't have a cleaning bone in her body, and the children were only rather tidy instead of completely dedicated to cleanliness.

So Hanji started to deconstruct the living room while her trueborn minions did her bidding. She pushed the couch and loveseat out of the way while leaving the coffee table and then wrestled the oversized armchair into the corner. The more space the better for a proper blanket fort. Every now and then, Remy would drag in another chair before going back for another one.

Satisfied with the foundation, she headed into the kitchen, looking for twine and string and clamps and anything else that could be used to secure the blankets. Gathering it all in her arms, she went back just as Ava scurried in covered in blankets. She had them draped around her like a dozen ill-sized robes. Dropping to the floor, the five-year-old backed out of the blankets and then hopped to her feet.

"Can I get the blankets and stuff from your room?" Ava asked.

"Sure, might as well ensure my inevitable doom," Hanji said with a bright smile. Levi was definitely going to fuss her ear off about the mess when he got home, but hey, that's what he got for going to a meeting during a massive thunderstorm.

Remy pulled in the last chair from the dining room and plopped down on the couch. "Hey, if we're already destroying the living room, what if we got out the camping gear? Then it'll be like we're camping indoors."

"Brilliant." Hanji ruffled his wild black hair. "It's in the garage, in some plastic tubs. Leave the campstove, though, I think your dad might never recover if we cook in the living room."

"Aw…"

"Yeah, go on, Trouble," Hanji said, using Levi's nickname for him and giving him a little push toward the garage.

While he was gone, Hanji started putting together their epic blanket fort, constructing the roof mostly with sheets to begin with, creating the general structure. It was big and roomy, and you know what, the Christmas lights would've look great in it if the power was still working. But then again, if they had power, she wouldn't even be making the blanket fort. Oh well. They would just have to settle for the high-powered lantern from the camping gear.

"I think I got them all," Ava said after a couple more trips upstairs. She had definitely done her job properly. The floor was covered in pillows and the rest of the bedroom blankets. Hanji grinned at her.

"Go help your brother, he's taking forever."

Ava dashed out of the room, calling Remy a 'slowpoke' in a singsong tone. After a little while, they came back in, carrying a pile of camping gear between them. They had lanterns and more twine and a mosquito net, and Remy was holding their camping meal kit.

"I thought we could eat like we're really camping," he said, "We don't have to cook it in the living but we can eat off our plates and stuff."

"I like that plan," Hanji said, picking up one of the kits.

With all three of them working, it took another half hour to get the blanket fort perfect enough to pass Hanji's inspection. It was a massive, comfy creation, complete with a table and poofy pillows and a few battery-powered candles scattered around the room. There were books and games and puzzles that would keep them busy until Levi came home to yell at them for the magnificent and unapologetic mess.

Hanji hugged both of her kids to her sides, eyes shining with pride at the destruction of the living room and creation of something fun. "It's wonderful."

And it was totally worth the I'm-Done look on Levi's face when he came in and found the living room in complete disarray.


	13. Not A Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remy is 17, Ava is 12, Hanji is amused, and Levi is so not pleased with this. This one is pretty short, so it's a ficlet!

"You need to try to look a little less murderous. Just a smidge."

Levi didn't even grace that with a response. He wasn't looking murderous, he was...simply looking. Intensely. If Hanji interpreted his expression as murderous, that was on her.

"It's not a real date, you know," Hanji continued. She was sitting at the desk in the corner of the living room, surrounded by piles of biology books, papers, and her laptop. That science journal article wasn't going to write itself, after all.

"I _know_ ," Levi said. But what if Ava thought it was? There was no way that his twelve-year-old was going on a date. His gaze flicked to the stairs expectantly, as if the subject of their discussion would suddenly appear. No, she was still upstairs, probably getting ready. Or maybe she wasn't getting ready at all. Maybe she was napping or reading or something.

How was he supposed to act, anyways? It was different than when they had gone through this with Remy, since it was a totally different kid.

"Calm down," Hanji said, "I think you've made it very clear to her that this is just a platonic outing that she's going on with a group of friends that just happens to include a boy she happens to _like_ like."

Levi's expression darkened even more. She was twelve, she wasn't supposed to _like_ like anyone. That was a stupid thing to say, anyways, " _like_ like." What did that even mean? Ava like liked a lot of things, she got easily attached. That's just the way she was.

"I don't want her getting any ideas," Levi said. He got up, crossed to the window, and glared out toward the street. The boy in question was supposed to be coming to the house so he and Ava could be picked up together. He had suggested driving them to the park himself, but Ava had shook her head so hard that it looked like it was about to fly off her shoulders. Apparently that was a terrible idea because he would scare everyone to death.

"I think you're getting more ideas than she is," Hanji said, grinning.

"Moooom!" There was a clatter on the stairs, and Ava appeared, skidding to a stop from a mad dash in the middle of the living room. She twirled in a circle and then put her hands on her hips. "What do you think?" She had on bright leggings, a long tank-top shirt, and a short jacket over that. Her socks were mismatched, one pink and the other green and orange striped, as usual, a choice that Levi hated but Ava kept insisting it was fashionable. 

"Very cute," Hanji said, though her fashion sense was about as reliable as a one-legged donkey.

"Why does it matter?" Levi asked, dark eyes flashing as he looked at Ava.

She brushed her fingers through her silky dark brown hair and turned those big grey eyes on him. "Because I don't wanna look like I just rolled out of bed, Daddy." Why did his daughter have to be beautiful? Weren't twelve-year-olds supposed to be super awkward? He would've much preferred if she was a wobbly goose child instead of a petite sass-master pixie.

"It's going to be cold, take a hoodie," he said even though it was August and there wasn't even a chance of it being chilly outside. Preferably she would take a big oversized hoodie, like one of Remy's.

"No way, we're going to play ultimate frisbee, it'll be too hot," she protested.

"I think you should take one anyways."

"Dad…"

There was a knock on the door and Ava immediately sprang in that direction. "I'll get it."

"Sit down," Levi said, pointing to the couch in case she forgot where she should sit.

Ava and Hanji looked at each other, and Hanji made a face. "I'll get the door."

"No, you stay there," he said, a dangerous smirk on the face, "I'll go greet Craydon and welcome him in."

"It's Braeden," Ava said, "Dad! Daaaad, don't, come on, you're doing the thing."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Levi deadpanned. His face was completely expressionless by the time he reached the door and opened it. He looked at the boy, taking in the khaki board shorts, the gaming t-shirt, the very messy brown hair. Not impressive. "Jaiden?"

"Um…" The kid stared at Levi as if he was going to reach out and break his arm. "Mr. Ackerman?"

"No."

"What?"

Levi had decided that if he had to deal with this situation, he was going to enjoyment. "I'm not Mr. Ackerman."

The kid flailed and stepped back, looking at the numbers on the house. "But, this is the right house. This is South Maple Street, right?"

"Yes," Levi said, leaning against the doorframe of the house.

"And is this where Ava Ackerman lives?" Eaton asked, his eyebrows coming together in perfect confusion.

"Yeah."

"Oh. Okay." The kid swayed a little, as if he didn't know what to do now.

Levi reveled in the boy's hesitancy, at least until Hanji barreled past him, grabbing the boy by the arm and dragging him inside. "Braeden! It's so nice to see you. Ignore Levi, he's being a pain."

"Wait, so you _are_ Mr. Ackerman?" the boy asked, now standing in the foyer.

"It's Dr. Ackerman," he said. Normally he didn't ever bother correcting people besides his moronic students at the college, but this time was different.

"But Ava said you were a professor."

Great, this one was a real genius.

"He has a doctorate in being an asshole," Hanji said happily, and then blinked slowly, "Does your family curse? Nevermind, ignore that, just…Hey Ava, Braeden's here!"

Ava rushed into the room, grabbed Braeden's hand and took off toward the door. "We're going! We're leaving, I'll be home by six, please don't talk anymore!"

"Wait, aren't you getting picked up here?" Hanji asked, watching as the two dashed down to the sidewalk.

"Yeah, but we're going to wait right here," Ava said firmly as she guided Braden to the edge of the sidewalk in front of the house.

"I'll keep you and Treyden company," Levi said.

Hanji snagged the back of his shirt and yanked. "Oh, no, Dr. Ackerman, you will not."

Instead of hovering over the kids like a crow, Levi had to settle for standing by the window and glowering at the boy. Why did his daughter have to grow up, anyways? Even though this wasn't an actual date, there would one day be real dates in the very near future. And then she would grow up and move away and he wouldn't have a baby girl anymore. He wanted her to grow up and do great things, but he also wanted her to stay little forever.


End file.
